What to write in a letter to your grandchild, with examples

Why a grandparent’s letter is different

Parents write about the baby. Grandparents can write about the family: where it came from, what it survived and what it laughs about. You hold a longer piece of the story than anyone else in the room.

You also know the baby’s mother or father as a child. One story about that, told kindly, will be read aloud for years.

You are the only one who remembers their parent at that age.

What to write to your first grandchild

Start with the moment you found out. Say where you were and what you did next. Then introduce yourself as you would to someone who may only know you as old.

“Dear little one, Your father telephoned at six in the morning and could not get the words out, so I knew. I am your grandmother. I was a nurse for thirty years, I grow tomatoes badly and I cry at weddings. I have waited a long time to meet you. Welcome to this family. We are noisy and we show up.”

Letter to a newborn granddaughter or grandson

“Dear Clara, You are four days old. You have your mother’s chin, which she got from my mother, who got it from a woman in a photograph I will show you one day.

When your mother was small she refused to wear shoes and once walked to the corner shop in the rain in her socks. I am telling you this so you have something to say when she tells you to put your shoes on. I will love you through every age you are going to be. Grandma.”

Letter to my grandson on his first birthday

“Dear Henry, Happy first birthday. This year I watched you learn to sit, then crawl, then pull every book off my bottom shelf. I left them on the floor for a week because I liked seeing them there.

I was not always a patient father. Being your grandfather is my second chance to slow down, and I am taking it. When you are older I will teach you to fish and you will be bored, and that is fine. Love, Pop.”

Letter to my granddaughter on her first birthday

“My darling Zoe, One year old. You clap when I come through the door, and I would cross the country for that alone.

I want you to have something of mine in writing. I grew up with very little and I was happy. I was the first girl in my family to finish school. I married your grandfather after knowing him for eleven weeks, and I was right. Be brave about the things that matter, my love. Your Nan.”

A letter when you live far away

Distance changes what a letter is for. It becomes the visit you could not make.

“Dear Mateo, I am writing from the kitchen in Guadalajara where your father ate breakfast every day until he was nineteen. There are 2,000 kilometers between this table and your crib. I see you on the telephone every Sunday and you try to touch my face on the screen. I am saving the stories for when you are old enough, and in case I am not there to tell them I am writing them down. Con todo mi cariño, tu abuelo.”

Ideas for staying close to grandchildren who live far away

Stories to put on paper

Choose two or three. Short and specific is better than complete.

• Where you were born and what the house was like
• What your own grandparents were called and one thing you remember about them
• How you met their grandmother or grandfather
• What their parent was like at two, at ten and at sixteen
• The work you did and what you were proud of
• A hard year and how the family got through it
• A recipe, a saying or a song that belongs to your family
• What you believe now that you did not believe at thirty

Add your voice

Read your letter aloud and record it, even on a telephone. Your grandchild will want to hear how you said their name.

If their parents keep a family archive in Everlittle, they can invite you as a contributor so your letters, photographs and recordings sit beside their own, and you can add to them from your own browser whenever a story comes back to you.

Questions for recording grandparents’ stories