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Letters for later
18 letters for an 18th birthday: how to collect them
Who to ask, what to tell them to write, a message you can send and how to gather 18 letters for an 18th birthday, whether you have six weeks or seventeen years.
Their story,
in your words.
in your words.
Ask eighteen people who have known your child at different ages for one letter each. Give them a prompt, a length and a deadline three weeks before the birthday. Expect to chase half of them.
Two ways to do it
The quick version: in the weeks before the birthday, you ask eighteen people for one letter each and present them together. The slow version: one letter is written every year from birth, by you or by a different person each time, and all eighteen are opened on the day.
The slow version is lovelier and easy to start at any age. If your child is already seven, write this year’s letter and ask relatives to fill in the earlier years from memory.
Example letters for the first birthday
Eighteen people, each holding a different year of the same life.
Who to ask
Aim for a spread of ages and relationships, so the letters cover the whole life and not only the recent years.
- Both parents, separately
- Each living grandparent
- Siblings, including the small ones (dictated letters are the best ones)
- A godparent or family friend who was there in the first year
- An aunt, uncle or cousin they are close to
- A teacher or coach who saw them grow
- A childhood best friend, and that friend’s parent
- A neighbor, babysitter or childminder from the early years
- Someone who knew a grandparent who has died, writing about them
What to tell each writer
People write better with boundaries. Give them one page, one prompt and a date.
Ask for a memory only they have, something they admire in the birthday child and one thing they wish they had known at eighteen. Tell them it is fine to be funny. Tell them handwriting is welcome and so is a typed page.
A message you can send
“Hi Sarah, Daniel turns 18 on 14 June. I am collecting 18 letters from people who have mattered to him, and I would love one from you. One page is plenty: a memory of him, something you admire about him and any advice for the years ahead. Could you send it to me by 20 May? Post or email are both fine. Please keep it a surprise.”
Example openings
From a teacher: “You will not remember this, but in Year 4 you stayed in at break to help another boy finish his model volcano. I have told that story to every class since.”
From an older cousin: “I taught you to swear and to parallel park. Only one of those was on purpose.”
From a grandparent: “I have known you for 6,570 days and I have the photographs to prove it.”
Collecting and chasing
Keep a simple list of who has replied. Send one reminder a week before the deadline and a second on the day. Some people will send a voice message or a video instead of writing; accept it gladly.
If you are collecting over many years, the hard part is not losing anything. A shared family archive helps here: in Everlittle each invited relative can add their own letter or recording, and you can hold them in a capsule that opens on the eighteenth birthday. Keep the paper originals as well.
How to present them
Number the envelopes one to eighteen, in order of how long each writer has known them. A box, a ribbon or a simple binder all work. Add a photograph of the writer with the birthday child to each envelope if you can find one.
Give them time alone with the letters. Most eighteen-year-olds will read them properly later that night.
Keep one detail from today.
Start with a sentence, a photo or a familiar voice.